In all honesty, I’ve been delaying to write. When Satan tests your identity, and you don’t run to the Father (because that’s when Satan flees) he picks at the ‘smaller’ things in the process of attacking the bigger things. For an example, when a lion or cobra or even a tiger attacks a pack of prey they shoot for the weakest and the slowest. In the same way I believe that’s how it is when our identity is tested, or even when Satan attacks. In your life he’ll attack the ‘smaller’ things, before moving onto the more significant. Blogging is something that I love to do and I’ve been going through a hard time since the school semester started, that has tested my creativity. I believe in a sense my identity was being tested. Am I really a dancer? Am I really a blogger? Am I really a student? Am I really God’s daughter? Are you sure the things he’s spoken over you will come to pass? And although I know the answer to those questions, when there’s doubt it can eat you alive, you know?
Something the Lord has recently been taking me through is fixing my eyes on Him. At the beginning of the semester I was meditating on Hebrews 12:1-4:
“Let us throw off everything that hinders, and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. Who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning it’s shame, and sat down at the right hand of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful man so that you don’t grow weary and loose heart.”
I didn’t know how rich this scripture is, and I still don’t know all of the components of it. Lately the part in that, that’s suck out to me the most is “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus…”. What does it really mean to fix our eyes on Jesus? What does that look like? How do you do it? How do you know when you’re doing it? (yes! I really ask questions like this). The bible says when we run to the Father the enemy flees, and fixing our eyes on Jesus is a facet of that.
I’m going through a series by Mike Bickle called Song of Songs- Intimacy with God. It’s truly life changing. I am learning that I’ve removed my heart from the intimacy and I’ve been focusing on the calling and on the blessings of God. All semester I’ve been telling myself, I’m too busy to do this, or to do that, but in actuality, what God speaks happens, period. He said let there be light and light came forth, so why am I afraid that what he’s spoken over my life won’t happen? It’s a complete lie. He will speak blessings over me, because it comes along with his character, as does faithfulness. He can’t help but bless, He’s a dad who wants to give his children and piece of the many riches he has to freely give. But that doesn’t mean I should focus on those things.
I encourage you; if you are in or have ever been in the place I was, position your heart back to the Father. He loves us and wants to be with us. Although he blesses, it’s truly intimacy with us He desires, and you’ll find that’s more beautiful than anything tangible he could every give you, Fatherly Affection.