As the year 2014 comes to an end I am forced to reevaluate where my life has come from, and where it’s going. I must say even I am impressed with the way things are going right now. The verse “God is able to do exceedingly more than we can even think of comes to mind” Ephesians 3:20 (paraphrased Shely version). Do you believe that Jesus wants to do unthinkable miracles in your life and through you?
At first grasping that was hard for me. I mean even though God died for me, why would he want to do amazing things in my life? Dying for me and setting me free is way more than I deserve, it’s way more than I could ask. Shoot, at first I didn’t even know I wanted or needed freedom and to be ‘saved’.
I think the most life changing thing I heard related to this topic came from the mouth of Bill Johnson, pastor of Bethel Church. He said that we need to start believing that God doesn’t just wanna do things for us, but also through us [for the benefit of others] (again, paraphrased Shely version). The thought that Jesus wants to do things through me for the benefit of others isn’t just easier to grasp, it goes along with is nature 110%.
I do have to say that this year has been kind of amazing, and full of ups and downs. My very best friends have found amazing men to trust with their hearts (that’s an up). The more I do life with these girls I see more and more of God grace and mercy moving throughout their lives. Example one of my best friends just got engaged (December 12th, 2014). I still remember 2 years ago all 5 of us at valentines dinner complaining that we will NEVER find anyone. The more I do life with these girls I see how special and valuable they are and how significant they are to the kingdom of God. Example my other best friend just had a baby and from day one she has been such a leader to young mothers everyday. The more I do life with these girls I see how difficult community really is (that’s a down). There is a reason the bible says iron sharpens iron. Well, because it does, but also it isn’t gentle. Iron is not an soft cuddle like substance and sometimes people aren’t either. I can say in my walk with these girls I have gotten into more fights than I ever have but the fights are what makes us family, that through thick and thin we stick together and we don’t let anything separate us. The more I do life with these girls I see how individual I am. It’s bitter sweet. I can’t say that God isn’t doing anything in my life because he is. Still my life situation is very different than everyone elses. We’re all growing up. We’re all going down different walks of life, but the same road.
This semester has been different than the past ones. I have struggled, but differently than in the past. Instead of getting caught up in the semester and completely forgetting to walk with Jesus. I made sure to stay by his side. What does that mean? I don’t know. It isn’t something I can explain step by step to you. It’s just something I can feel in my spirit that I have accomplished. Walking with Jesus instead of trying to stick to the list of rules I make for myself for the semester has made all the more difference in my performance throughout the semester as a whole. Walking with Jesus is a heart choice. I made the decision, early on before the semester began, to stay in right relationship with God. I believe knowing that Jesus agrees with what I am studying, makes all the more difference. I mean being a dancer isn’t exactly encouraged in the church. But knowing that no matter what other people say… I am doing exactly what my God wants me to, gave me the ability to throw myself completely into my studies and to do my very best in school. I reached this point of aggravation. I was tired of half doing every commitment I made. I realized I wasn’t getting anywhere with that. I made the decision that if I was going to invest myself into something I will do it 100%. I saw Jesus’ blessing on that completely. Church: know what he’s called you to. An assurance that cannot be found from the mouth of anyone standing at a pulpit but only from Jesus himself.
Some of my highlights for 2014 has to be the way I have grown as a dancer. I must say in my opinion I still have a long way to go. But when I first started out at UNLV I never thought I would have gotten even this far. I am choreographing on my own. Leading auditions. Dancing with confidence. To me all this just goes to show that hard work can get you anywhere which, honestly is a lesson my parents never taught me. The value of hard work. As I embark on this journey to France I want to explore more of who I am as a dancer, a performer, a choreographer, a student and a teacher. I am not quite sure what I am in store for in France as far as dance is concerned. After all France (and Italy) is where technique all started. I just want to come back with the ability to tackle what the remainder of 2015 has stored up.
Some videos from this semester:
Master Class from Eric Bean
Modern Class with Caine Keenan
My original Choreography to Cageless Birds for Choreography III